Have you seen this meme before?
This makes me laugh because I’ll be 30 in June and frequently forget that I’m not 20. Until I go to work and advise 20 year olds the whole time. Then I’m fully aware that I’m not twenty. I hear them walk by my office talking about pulling all-nighters and my face uncontrollably scrunches and I think, “Whyyyy?” I can’t even stay up until eleven anymore. Nor do I want to. Mostly because sleep is the best.
It’s okay that I’m not 20, though. Seriously–super okay. As fun as that time was, I love the stage of life that I’m in, the people in it, the things I’m experiencing, and the woman I have become. We have different seasons of life for a reason and each one builds us and prepares us for the next one.
Lately I have been feeling like my current season of life is about to undergo a big change. In the next six months I enter my 30’s, we will have a second child, my husband will be done with school (at least for now), I may enter back into the full-time stay at home mom role, there’s a possibility of moving to another state so I can attend graduate school, and there may even be a minivan at some point in there. Bring it on. Especially the minivan thing. As I have thought about all the things coming up in my life, I have been thinking of the things I can simplify and how I want to use my time on the things that matter most to me. Which brings me to this blog.
When I first started this, I was preparing to go from working full-time to having a baby and staying home. I was also getting ready to move to a new state where I knew no one. It felt like a big part of who I am was changing and I wanted to keep some of my identity. Writing about some of the things that mattered so much to me was a huge help in the surprisingly difficult adjustment to my new life and roles. As my original plans for this blog had to adapt to what others were willing and able to provide (the career profiles, for example), it took a few different turns than what I was expecting, but it has been fun! I have learned a lot about myself, how awesome women are, and have connected with people I otherwise wouldn’t have.
Recently, I finally had the resources to invest a little bit more into this blog to really get it going in the direction I wanted. As I started moving forward with those plans, I couldn’t stop the feelings of wondering if this is where I need to be prioritizing my time right now. The time for research and things I would need to do could definitely be used towards my classes. My evenings could be freed up for spending time on my marriage and daughter. I could be looking at computer screens a whole lot less in general. There are so many things I want to learn how to do, that I could be doing instead of writing.
When these thoughts first started coming, by the next day I had decided that I was going to quit writing this blog and focus on those other things. About two days later, though, some of those reasons came back to me about why I had started. As I’m preparing to go through another round of big life changes, do I want to get rid of this outlet? And let’s be honest, I can’t not talk about information I’ve found. I have given so much random information to strangers about education and resources with very minimal prodding on their behalf. If I were Buddy the Elf, my mantra would be “I just like to share. Sharing is my favorite!”
So where does that leave me then? Honestly, I’m not sure. I don’t see me stopping blogging because I enjoy writing and sharing. But I also don’t see me writing every week, at least for a little bit. One thought I’ve had is that maybe I am ready to stop writing about academic and career related things as much. In preparing to most likely become a stay at home mom again, I feel like I’ll have to seek those topics out a bit more than I would being in the work force and I’m not sure I want to spend my time doing extra research. And nobody wants advice from someone not doing what they’re giving advice about, right?
Maybe I’m just feeling overwhelmed with all I need to do before the baby comes in June. I really don’t have an answer right now, other than posts will probably have a little more space between them and I’ll probably be writing about things that I’m currently doing that don’t involve extra research. I’m feeling a bit more protective of my time and I think that’s best for now. I definitely have a few things in mind, especially keeping you updated on my May trip to Washington D.C. with Zero to Three for their Strolling Thunder event!! It’s going to be awesome and I’m excited to share all that I learn and get experience with you! As well as my thoughts and preparations regarding all the changes coming up, including that I’m not-so-secretly terrified of having a second kid.
Isn’t life great? We change, what we prioritize changes, and we are lucky enough to be able to go with it when we feel the need. I am so grateful to be a woman and for the opportunities I have. I’ll see you again soon!