Having a Toddler is just like Dating Again

I love my daughter. I love the crazy and goofy stuff she does. Once I’ve had an appropriate amount of time to cool off, I even love the stuff that irritates the crap out of me. Recently, she did something that had me thinking, “oh my gosh, I had an old boyfriend do this exact same thing.” Which, of course, made me realize how much my toddler relationship reminds me about dating during my single days. Enjoy, and realize that although you’re a mom, your life is weirdly similar to when you were on your own.


  1. You are never quite sure that they even like you. I mean, is this love for them or convenience? Am I their world, or just a piece of meat/milk?
  2. You’re up all hours of the night with them. It’s just a lot less fun now. A lot less.
  3. Sometimes you’re too scared to change anything because you don’t want to mess it up. If I ask him to meet my family, will he freak out and distance himself? Or, if I scratch my face while holding her, will she have a huge meltdown?
  4. It doesn’t take much to make you feel confused and cry. Did he blow me off on purpose? Should I let her cry it out or go in there and apologize for ruining her life by me trying to sleep?
  5. One day you can barely say goodnight, the next you just need your freaking space. I love you and all, but sometimes I need a night out with my girlfriends. And sometimes I just need to pee without you trying to sit on my lap the whole time.
  6. You find yourself doing all sorts of things you’re not interested in, because they love it. You want me to watch you hypnotize a chicken? Suuure. Daniel Tiger on ice? Sounds amazing.
  7. You don’t want them to see you eating. With dating, I didn’t want them to know that I could down an entire container of Pringles in one sitting. With a toddler, I just want to eat something–anything–without having to share. That requires hiding it.
  8. You say things you never thought you’d say. Like, “I love you,” and “Don’t lick the toilet!”
  9. You change your clothes multiple times before going out. Before, I was trying to find the perfect outfit. Now, I have to change because I got barfed on. And then peed on.
  10. You frequently wonder if you’re ready for a new one or if this is the only one for you. Weekly, if not daily.

I’m sure there are a lot more ways this is true, but lately, these are the ones that come to mind. Even though she drives me crazy, confuses me, and makes me want to sleep for a week straight–I’d still pick her over dating again any day.


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