It has been a crazy month here! My sister and her family came to visit over Easter, then my husband’s grandma stayed with us for 9 days, then I ended up getting to fly alone with the baby to my homeland for my grandma’s 90th birthday. Then I had to study like crazy for my last two tests of the semester. It was a good time, but blogging had no place in there.
I took my last test of the semester Wednesday night and I’m proud to say that I did awesome! Not to rub it in anyone’s face, but I rocked my dang Anatomy & Physiology class. Those classes have always intimidated me and the information was challenging, but I did it! My tests are proctored and as I finished, the proctor was surprised that I was done already. I had already seen my score and it took a lot for me not to yell, “Because I’m great!” So I just smiled real big.
One of the things I love most about education and learning is that you can always grow. My undergrad was pretty easy for me, which lead me to not study that hard. I took it seriously and had plans for grad school (which obviously have changed), but it wasn’t difficult for me to do well with minimal effort. That definitely became a “fear of failure” thing. Does the following pattern look familiar to anyone?
- Be involved in something difficult
- Don’t try too hard.
- Don’t do that well.
- Can say it was because you didn’t try hard, not because you aren’t good enough.
I think this is a super sad thing that many of us go through, whether it is in school, work, goal setting, physical health, relationships, etc. Nobody wants to feel like they aren’t good enough. I have been consciously trying to get this pattern out of my life. It’s tough at times, but it also feels really good to beat it when I do. Bonus: it was super interesting and I loved what I learned. Fun fact: this scene from Waterboy helped me on my test to get an answer right. Booya.
Facing fears (big or small), putting in the hard work and succeeding is so rewarding. Not all of my scores were A’s in that class, but I was still proud of the grades I got because I worked for them rather than avoid the class altogether.
And it’s totally fine to do a happy dance.