When it comes to the future, I’m a planner. When it comes to things I can’t plan out, I’m a worrier. This can then set me off into a cycle of “is this the right thing to do after all? Maybe I should do this. I’ll just look it up real quick. Oh, that’s what the job market is like for that? Maybe neither of those is the right thing to do. What am I doing with my life?” It’s a super fun time.
This happened the other night while I was doing a pretty enjoyable homework assignment. I thought to look up what some of the open positions in communication disorders were like around here in case we stayed after we finish school. As I was looking at some of the job requirements I started to worry if I would ever be able to learn how to do all they expect and if it would be satisfying to me. Cue the cycle of self-doubt. In a matter of 15 minutes I went from enjoying what I was doing to having looked up three possible career choices, two grad programs, and annoying the heck out of myself for letting that anxiety get the better of me when I have already gone through this about 20 times and know this is the right choice for me.
Then I remembered seeing this on Facebook the day before.
I’ve seen this quote many times before, but I’m so glad I came across it the day before I felt that fear. This is something so many of us do to ourselves. I wholeheartedly agree that I am afraid of being powerful because then it puts me on a different level of responsibility. It’s so easy to skate by and be adequate, but it takes courage to strive for something more and then live up to it.
My favorite part of this is “We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.” I love that. It’s one of those things that you feel in your bones is right.
As I reread that quote the other night, I turned to my husband and asked him to help me out. That when I am freaking myself out and thinking that I won’t be good enough, to remind me that I’m smart and can do anything. Because I may feel in my bones that it’s right, but sometimes I’m still a scaredy-cat and need a reminder.
Lots of things can get in the way of our goals. There are tons of hurdles in life, including the ones we think could happen and freak out over. Just breathe and when you think about the life you’re preparing for yourself, remember to ask, “Who am I not to have that?”